Showing posts tagged wedding.
x

72 days later

ask me   submit   the meaning of 72 days   why same-sex marriage matters   

learn to love, forget to hate, start to live.
sometimes my thoughts and opinions, but mostly that which i find interesting and important along the way.

I don’t want to look like a princess on my wedding day.

I’ve heard a lot of ladies say they want to look like a princess on their wedding day. They want to look prettier than they’ve ever looked before. I’ve also heard a lot of women look back on their wedding day self as their ideal: the hair, the make-up, the outfit, the body, and so on. I see wedding pictures on Facebook and tumblr and living room coffee tables serving as a reminder to those brides what “perfect” looked like.

I want to look like myself. I don’t want the photographer to whiten my teeth when editing. I don’t want to starve myself into my dress so I can forever be unhappy that I’m not in wedding-day shape. I want to be me. I want to be happy. I want it to feel perfect. After all, the most beautiful pictures aren’t the ones photoshopped beyond recognition; they’re the ones capturing the little moments, the happy tears smearing make-up, the overwhelming emotion caught in a still. Those are the memories I want. The beauty of happiness.

In the end, the beauty and fashion industries, certainly including bridal, don’t exist to make us feel beautiful. They exist to tell us we cannot be beautiful without them: the right make-up, the best hair, the prettiest clothes. 

On my wedding day, I will be myself, I will be in love, and I will be beautiful. When my children look at my wedding photos, they won’t see a princess or perfection. They’ll see the beauty of their moms overwhelmed by joy.

— 1 year ago with 12 notes
#beauty  #bridal  #bride  #family  #fashion  #gay wedding  #happy  #joy  #make-up  #marriage  #mom  #perfect  #same-sex marriage  #two brides  #wedding  #wedding day  #engayged  #engaged  #getting married  #bride to be 
To my friends planning to vote Romney/Ryan 2012, the impact their administration would have on my life

To my friends planning to vote Romney/Ryan 2012, the impact their administration would have on my life:

  • No legal wedding or marriage for my fiancée and me.
  • No adoption of a child or children by my fiancée and me. 
  • No chance of legislation that prevent my fiancée and me from being fired.
  • No health insurance for my fiancée, as she would be kicked off of her mom’s insurance, can’t afford to pay for coverage through her work, and cannot be put on my insurance due to no legal recognition of our relationship. 
  • Lack of coverage for my basic health care as a woman (further complicating any chance of my fiancée and I being parents because we legally could not adopt and financially could not afford the cost of having a child ourselves without any insurance coverage). 
  • No benefits for my fiancée and me that even remotely mimic marriage benefits.

If I were to vote Republican in this election, I would be voting against my human and citizen rights to marry, to form a family, to receive affordable health care, and to work, among others. Those are not privileges. Those are rights that I would be denied. For me, the choice is simple, it is easy, and it is clear. 

Romney said: “There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it — that that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what. … These are people who pay no income tax. … [M]y job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”

I am not a victim. I am responsible. I pay an income tax. There are certain rights which men and women who came before the politicians now in office determined were necessary to a life of dignity. If we’re to be the “best” or “strongest” nation or the “global leader,” we have to be the best, the strongest, the leader of human and citizen rights within our own borders. If we are to be a great nation, we need to be led by a president who believes it IS his job to worry about EVERY citizen. If you can look me in the eye and say I am less deserving than you of these rights, then perhaps you can justify a vote for Romney/Ryan 2012. I will vote for the candidate that agrees that everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in the human rights declarations, conventions, and our own country’s constitution and laws, without distinction of any kind. 

— 1 year ago with 5 notes
#romney  #ryan  #republican  #truth  #democrat  #obama  #biden  #potus  #politics  #freedom  #human rights  #health care  #gay  #lesbian  #lgbt  #marriage  #wedding  #dignity  #47 percent  #2012  #election  #debate  #responsibility  #taxes  #government 
Tie the Knot →

Advocating for a More Stylish & Equal America

Jesse Tyler Ferguson Bow Ties Available This November, 2012

— 1 year ago with 2 notes
#Tie the Knot  #marriage equality  #wedding  #bow tie  #lgbt  #gay  #queer  #marriage  #style  #fashion  #what to wear to your gay wedding 
"Hey homophobes- I’m a woman getting married to the woman of my dreams and there’s not a thing in the world you can do about it!"
— 1 year ago with 34 notes
#marriage equality  #lesbian  #lesbian wedding  #quote  #wedding  #marriage  #rights  #human rights  #civil rights 

Anti-Gay Fundamentalist Endorses Gay Marriage By Accident

Dan Savage, gay rights activist, was challenged by the slightly hateful president of the hate group National Organization For Mariage (NOM), Brian Brown, to a debate. Anywhere. Anytime. So Dan wisely suggested dinner with his husband and son at his own house. What followed was a really compelling debate that was a little light on moderation, but heavy on ideas. At least from one side. While Mr. Brown focused on attacking Dan personally, and putting words into his mouth that he didn’t say, Dan brought delicious salient facts to the table. 

THEN, at 47:50, Mr. Brown actually said some words that basically won the debate for Dan. It was awesome. And at 53:20 it just gets double awesome.

Adam MordecaiMore from Adam »
 
— 1 year ago with 12 notes
#gay marriage  #gay  #marriage  #wedding  #video 
What does it feel like to be told you can’t marry someone you love and want to marry?

Carrie Underwood recently came out in support of marriage equality, saying:

"As a married person myself, I don’t know what it’s like to be told I can’t marry somebody I love, and want to marry," she said. "I can’t imagine how that must feel. I definitely think we should all have the right to love, and love publicly, the people that we want to love."

And perhaps that’s just it for many people - they don’t know what it feels like. So, to get the word out from those of us who know all to well what it feels like, I’ve created this post. What does it feel like to be told you can’t marry someone you love and want to marry? Please answer and reblog. 

— 1 year ago with 2 notes
#wedding  #marriage  #what it's like  #what it feels like  #love  #relationship  #gay  #lesbian  #glbt  #lgbt  #glbtq  #lgbtq  #queer  #offbeat bride  #engayged  #married  #gay marriage  #gay wedding  #lesbian wedding  #couple  #family  #question  #q&a  #reply  #relblog 
"what it’s like to be told I can’t marry somebody I love"

Carrie Underwood recently came out in support of marriage equality, saying:

"As a married person myself, I don’t know what it’s like to be told I can’t marry somebody I love, and want to marry," she said. "I can’t imagine how that must feel. I definitely think we should all have the right to love, and love publicly, the people that we want to love."

And perhaps that’s just it for many people - they don’t know what it feels like. So, to get the word out from those of us who know all to well what it feels like, I’ve created this post. What does it feel like to be told you can’t marry someone you love and want to marry? Please answer and reblog. 

— 1 year ago with 3 notes
#marriage  #love  #wedding  #gay marriage  #gay wedding  #same-sex wedding  #marriage equality  #reblog  #answer  #reply  #lesbian  #gay  #bi  #bisexual  #trans  #transgender  #sex  #relationship  #glbt  #lgbt  #lgbtq  #glbtq  #queer  #queer wedding  #q&a  #human rights  #gay rights  #rights  #civil rights 
What’s the difference between a gay wedding and a straight wedding?

What’s the difference between a gay wedding and a straight wedding? It’s the question that keeps popping up wherever I go in my quest to plan my wedding, in how-to wedding books, blogs, conversations with friends. Whether implied or explicit, it’s always there. 

Liz Feldman says it well: “It’s very dear to me, the issue of gay marriage. Or, as I like to call it: ‘Marriage.’ You know, because I had lunch this afternoon, not gay lunch. I parked my car; I didn’t gay park it.”

I want to get married. Not gay married. I say “my wedding,” not “my gay wedding,” not because I’m hiding anything, but because, as far as I’m concerned, that’s what it is: a wedding. The end. 

What’s the difference between gay love and straight love? I would say: love is love. Apparently, however, whether love is between one man and one woman or between two men or between two women matters far more to most than it does to me. That’s why we need to label it, and everything associated with it. If love happens between two people who aren’t the same sex/gender (a more complicated element of the discussion for a later date), people have to call it something. I hope we’ll get over it at some point, if not in my lifetime, then at least before this world implodes.

Love is love. Marriage is marriage. My wedding is my wedding. I don’t gay love my fiancée, I just love her. I want to marry her. The need to gay marry her at a gay wedding is not my own, but society’s implication to aid in understanding, differentiation, separation, distance. 

I feel that I want to marry my fiancée for a similar set of reasons as anyone planning on getting married. She’s the love of my life. She makes me laugh. She takes care of me. She challenges me. She makes me a better person. She is supportive of me. She makes me happy. I can’t see my life without her. I can see a wonderful future of adventures and children and accomplishments together. She’s in my dreams for seemingly ever. I want to commit to her for life. I want to marry her. At a wedding.

Label or no, what is the difference between the two, really? Still it persists.

Why does there have to be a difference? It seems I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t when it comes to marriage. Some people have a problem with gays because we don’t fit the “norms,” but people (usually the same ones), don’t want us getting married and stealing said norms either. I’ve heard from some gay people that getting married is just assimilating into a heteronormative and oppressive system. Well, what the hell am I supposed to do? I’ll never make everyone happy. That, however, is not my concern. When it comes to my wedding, my concern is this: that the event makes me and my fiancée happy. 

And there is a whole new set of struggles. Being very different people liking different things, we have different ideas of what a wedding should be. Or, I have a new idea or ten every day, and she simply operates differently. I’ll happily stand in front of hundreds of people in a big puffy dress professing my love to her. That sort of attention is one of her worst nightmares. And so on.

And then there is the planning itself. Planning a wedding is hard for anyone, but harder when you’re not sure if the people you’re reaching out to are okay with the gay. As much as it sucks, it’s true. On my first trip to try on dresses, the form had slots for “bride” and “groom/partner” – a start. Then the lady helping me kept referring to my groom, even though I circled “partner” and wrote “bride” above it just to be extra clear. I did receive a call from them later on asking when I’d like to schedule my next appointment, or one “for my gal;” redemption. And lots of brownie points, especially in this town.

Despite that it would be a good business decision for everyone in the wedding industry to welcome all couples, many don’t, and they don’t exactly advertise that way. Even gay-friendly venues and resources often fail to be obviously gay-friendly so as not to lose homophobic clientele on principle. Not only do we have to find a place and people, we have to find ones that won’t turn our day into an offensive and heartbreaking affair. 

What’s the difference? As I see it, an additional level of stress and complication. Not to say having a gay wedding is harder than a straight wedding by any means; there are plenty of unions that aren’t blessed by friends or family or so on and so forth. I wish there weren’t any difference at all, but that would require social and political change that simply will not happen overnight, or even between now and my wedding, as much as I’d like it to. 

— 1 year ago with 9 notes
#gay wedding  #wedding  #marriage  #lesbian  #gay  #lgbt  #lgbtq  #queer  #glbt  #glbtq  #same-sex marriage  #sex  #gender  #love  #relationship  #engaged